Leadership, Learning & Laughter

Think about your all-time favorite boss. The one with great leadership skills, from whom you learned the most and accomplished more than ever you thought you could. I’ll bet they made you laugh. Mine did. I was recently reminded how very important laughter is when learning something new.

Last weekend I participated in a 3 day riding clinic with a well-known instructor in the riding world, Karen Scholl. Being a relatively new rider with a very curious, head-strong horse, Charger, I am always very nervous about these clinics. I must admit that the last clinic left me in tears thinking I was a terrible owner and would never be able to comfortably ride any horse, especially Charger. I probably ought to just give up and sell him. I’m very glad now that I didn’t. This was my 5th clinic, each with a different instructor. Every instructor had had decades of experience both riding and teaching and I always learned something new that both Charger and I benefit ted from. But this one was different…special.

What made it different? Why did I leave this clinic filled with confidence? Why did I absorb more from Karen than all the other very knowledgeable instructors? Because she was funnier than all get out! She made me laugh at myself and Charger like I never had before. The moment I began laughing at myself I gained observational distance and a new perspective. In this case, Karen showed me what I was doing from Charger’s perspective…and it was hysterical! She reminded us all that, as with everything, “awareness is the first step toward change”.
Karen had a personal story to go with every new learning. She wasn’t afraid to tell us about how “green” she had once been and how she had learned much of what she knew the hard way. It was all so refreshing. I was not alone! She had once been just like me and if she could do it, so could I!

On the way home I was thinking of the all fun we’d had. How this time there were tears when she left for a whole different reason. “She’d won a place in our hearts” and we hated to see her go. I thought about Karen’s style and saw where the participants in my own trainings would really benefit from a little more levity and personal story telling. What about you? Are you taking yourself too seriously and putting undo pressure yourself and on your team? During these uncertain times, wouldn’t a little laughter go a long way? Do you have a personal experience that demonstrates a point you need to make? Here’s a hint: the best ones are the ones that are life-threatening or really embarrassing!

Intimate Mirrors

“Without intimate mirrors we have no hope of knowing ourselves.” This was line in a mystery novel I read on my flight to and from the west coast this past week. It really resonated with me as I had just experienced what it meant. During the trip I had spent a fun-filled evening with two close friends, one I hadn’t seen in 4 years. We had been pioneers in a medical imaging technology that is now considered standard of care for almost all cancer patients. It was an exciting time that often pushed us to our limits and we loved it. My friends are two brilliant, exhilarating people and being with them brought back memories of the many things we had accomplished individually and working together. I saw myself through each of their eyes and was reminded of what I love to do and what I excel at. It was something I really needed and resulted in me making a rather large shift in my business plan as a result of it. I have been recharged with new energy ever since.

Who are the intimate mirrors in your life? What have you seen in them lately? Are there some changes or subtle shifts toward doing what you love within or outside of your current business plan that you are willing to take? Three wonderful questions guaranteed to get you thinking and maybe moving in a new more meaningful direction.

Just say "Yes".

Recently I was approached by our local radio station about being interviewed. They thought their audience would be interested in knowing more about Life Coaching and the workshops, trainings and seminars I offer. My stomach kind of clenched and I could feel my shoulders rise in tension at the very thought, but I said “yes” even though I didn’t really want to; even though I didn’t think I would be very good at it. I consoled myself with thoughts like: “How bad could it be? This is a very small town. They probably don’t have too many listeners. Should I sound ridiculous it won’t go far.” Well, it turns out that what I thought was a small town radio station is a web-based station heard all over the world. Once I got over the surprise and started to breathe again, I saw what a great opportunity this was. It seems they have quite an audience in two large cities in our state that I have been wanting to market to, but didn’t know where to start. I learned that their advertising costs are much less than print, reach a wider audience and are creatively more flexible. A whole new door opened.

The experience caused me to take some time to look at where else had I said “yes” lately. I saw my new business blog, Twitter and Facebook pages. I had been saying “no” to these social networking sites for my business for a long time. I had all kinds of reasons – “I don’t know how to do them. I don’t have the time to learn. I don’t see the value for my business, etc.” I would go on and on. Then I asked myself a question I sometimes ask a client: “What are you more interested in – your Reasons or your Results?” Hmmm… So, I found a friend with lots of experience who got me set up in less than half a day!! Another door opened.

All this brought to mind a quote from Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish diplomat, Secretary-General of the UN from 1953-1961 and posthumous winner of the Nobel Prize in Peace 1961: “For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes.”

Take some time this week to ask yourself “Where am I saying ‘No’ where I could say ‘Yes’?” You might open a new door. Send me a Tweet!

Life Coaching - Lifting the fog

Recently a friend asked me “What exactly do you do as a life coach? How is being a life coach different from a being a mentor, counselor or a consultant?” As I get this question a lot, I thought it might be useful to you if I expanded on what I have on my web site under the “Coaching” tab.

The Encarta Dictionary defines “Mentor”, “Counselor” and “Consultant” as the following:

Mentor –“somebody, usually older and more experienced who advises and guides a younger, less experienced person”.

Counselor – “somebody, usually a professional who helps others with personal, social, or psychological problems; a professional who gives advice on such matters as career, education or health.”

Consultant – “an expert who charges a fee for providing advice or services in a particular field.”

Notice the operative words here are providing or giving advice.

A life coach does not give advice. The best description of what a Life Coach does was given to me by the founder of the Academy for Coaching Excellence and author of the books “The Energy of Money” and “Mastering Life’s Energies”, Maria Nemeth, PhD. Here you go:

“Imagine you are out driving in the country and there’s a fog all around you. It’s impossible to see where you’re going. Suddenly, the fog lifts. You’re driving on the wrong side of the road and there’s a ten-ton truck heading toward you!

What do you do? Do you analyze how you got there? Do you look at your parents’ driving behavior and how it’s influenced you at this crucial moment? Do you talk about your “inner driver” who wants to break the rules and drive wherever she feels guided?

No, you get over to the right side of the road. Because once you’ve discerned where you are, your response is natural, quick and appropriate.

Discernment produces action that is creative and potent. It may be that we innately possess all the talent, intelligence and ability we’ll ever need to achieve our goals and dreams. That’s not the problem. Instead, we simply need to see clearly how to put these qualities to use. That is where coaching comes in.

A coach does not tell you what to do, but rather supports you in clearing the fog from your path. Once this happens, you instantly self-correct. Until you discern where you are, however, your actions are aimless. It’s like driving in a fog, wondering why ‘trucks’ keep hitting you. Or how is it you keep ‘attracting trucks’ into your life.”

So now you have it: A coach is someone who helps you see that you have much to contribute in life…discover what holds meaning and purpose for you…identify your core strengths and values…create goals that come alive with meaning and excitement…and reach those goals with a sense of clarity, focus, ease and grace.

Welcome!

Welcome and thank you for visiting my blog. Stop by each Monday to check out a new posting meant to help you to:

• Gain clarity and focus about what you want.
• Take the action you need to take to reach your personal and/or professional goals with ease and grace.

A while back I heard Chris Flett, an author and dynamic lecturer give a talk that included "The 10 Deadly Sins of Business Development". Being a small business owner myself, they really resonated with me. I made a copy and have it hanging on the bulletin board in my office. I review it quarterly as part of my quarterly business planning (Deadly Sin #5 - Failing to plan). The great thing about Chris is that he not only lists the 10 Deadly Sins, afterwards he gives you a simple action to take to avoid each of them. Not big, hairy, audacious actions, just small steps to take toward achieving your goals. So here they are. I'll be interested to hear what you experience when you read them.

I. Double Dutch. Double Dutch syndrome is waiting for the right time to get into the market; and opportunity; call a prospect.

II. External Excuses. The second of the deadly sins are external excuses. How many of you have heard (or made) the following statements?• The market didn’t understand what I was doing• The client was too stupid• My staff aren’t passionate about what I’m doing• I don’t get any referrals from my partners• I don’t know why people aren’t sending me clients• I’m just waiting for my invoices to get paid• That client ripped me off.

III. Flying Solo. The death of the entrepreneur is solitude. How many of you are working your business solo?

IV. Trying a little bit of everything. How many of you do a little advertising? A little networking? A little referral work? A little newsletter work? Most companies aren’t sure what to use so they do a little bit of everything and find out that very little works. If you do three things on an ongoing basis, they will start to grow opportunities at a surprising rate.

V. Failing to Plan. How many of you plan your business development? Do you sit down weekly/monthly/even yearly and come up with a plan on what you are going to build and how you will build it? Only 10% of US businesses plan on a yearly basis; of that 10%, only 10% write down their plan and follow it. Of that 1% of all US businesses that write down a plan and follow it, their success rate is 98.75%

VI. Head in the Sand. Some entrepreneurs think that the market has upturns and downturns.

VII. Avoiding or not knowing what you do. Henry Ford has a Grade 4 education. He knew very little about financing, marketing, business development, human resources, management, procurement, and many other areas you would think him to be an expert in as he was building FORD. He didn’t need to know everything; he did however need to know people who knew everything and thus he put together his panel of advisors.

VIII. “Good Enough” mindset. Some professionals get to the point where they say, “My business is big enough. I can stop building it now.” WOW! Big, big mistake.

IX. Not asking for what you want. (Be Selfish) In business, in order for you to be happy and not resent what you are doing, you need to make sure your needs are met. How many of you have taken the time to write down what your professional needs are? This is really important to do. When you know what you need, then you can ask for them.

X. Playing small because of money. Many professionals don’t think they have enough money to build their business so they don’t. This becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You don’t spend money because you don’t think you have any so you don’t build your business which doesn’t bring new business which crunches your cash issue even more.

Tomorrow I (Chris Flett) want you to consider doing the following things:

• Do something that you have been waiting for the ‘right time’ to do.

• Put an elastic band around your wrist and every time you blame something externally, give it a snap. No one is impressed by excuses and it takes away your power to be responsible.

• Look at bringing people into your life so that you stop doing your business all by yourself.

• Choose three business development tools that you will use religiously for the next 90 days.

• Sit down every week and plan what you are going to do to build your business. Make this a practice. Also look to do this yearly with goals in mind so you can track your progress. Remember if you can’t measure it you can’t manage it.

• When things aren’t working, don’t ignore them. Instead, face them head on and deal with them and then put a system in place so you don’t have to deal with it again.

• Find advisors to give your information on parts of your business that you don’t know.

• If you find yourself saying it’s good enough, look at ways to ensure that it will always be good enough by having backup opportunities.

• Put yourself first and be clear on what you want and then ask for it.

• Finally, don’t let money be the deciding factor. Rather than why you can’t do something, look for ways to make it happen. It gives you a chance to be creative.