Just say "Yes".

Recently I was approached by our local radio station about being interviewed. They thought their audience would be interested in knowing more about Life Coaching and the workshops, trainings and seminars I offer. My stomach kind of clenched and I could feel my shoulders rise in tension at the very thought, but I said “yes” even though I didn’t really want to; even though I didn’t think I would be very good at it. I consoled myself with thoughts like: “How bad could it be? This is a very small town. They probably don’t have too many listeners. Should I sound ridiculous it won’t go far.” Well, it turns out that what I thought was a small town radio station is a web-based station heard all over the world. Once I got over the surprise and started to breathe again, I saw what a great opportunity this was. It seems they have quite an audience in two large cities in our state that I have been wanting to market to, but didn’t know where to start. I learned that their advertising costs are much less than print, reach a wider audience and are creatively more flexible. A whole new door opened.

The experience caused me to take some time to look at where else had I said “yes” lately. I saw my new business blog, Twitter and Facebook pages. I had been saying “no” to these social networking sites for my business for a long time. I had all kinds of reasons – “I don’t know how to do them. I don’t have the time to learn. I don’t see the value for my business, etc.” I would go on and on. Then I asked myself a question I sometimes ask a client: “What are you more interested in – your Reasons or your Results?” Hmmm… So, I found a friend with lots of experience who got me set up in less than half a day!! Another door opened.

All this brought to mind a quote from Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish diplomat, Secretary-General of the UN from 1953-1961 and posthumous winner of the Nobel Prize in Peace 1961: “For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes.”

Take some time this week to ask yourself “Where am I saying ‘No’ where I could say ‘Yes’?” You might open a new door. Send me a Tweet!

Life Coaching - Lifting the fog

Recently a friend asked me “What exactly do you do as a life coach? How is being a life coach different from a being a mentor, counselor or a consultant?” As I get this question a lot, I thought it might be useful to you if I expanded on what I have on my web site under the “Coaching” tab.

The Encarta Dictionary defines “Mentor”, “Counselor” and “Consultant” as the following:

Mentor –“somebody, usually older and more experienced who advises and guides a younger, less experienced person”.

Counselor – “somebody, usually a professional who helps others with personal, social, or psychological problems; a professional who gives advice on such matters as career, education or health.”

Consultant – “an expert who charges a fee for providing advice or services in a particular field.”

Notice the operative words here are providing or giving advice.

A life coach does not give advice. The best description of what a Life Coach does was given to me by the founder of the Academy for Coaching Excellence and author of the books “The Energy of Money” and “Mastering Life’s Energies”, Maria Nemeth, PhD. Here you go:

“Imagine you are out driving in the country and there’s a fog all around you. It’s impossible to see where you’re going. Suddenly, the fog lifts. You’re driving on the wrong side of the road and there’s a ten-ton truck heading toward you!

What do you do? Do you analyze how you got there? Do you look at your parents’ driving behavior and how it’s influenced you at this crucial moment? Do you talk about your “inner driver” who wants to break the rules and drive wherever she feels guided?

No, you get over to the right side of the road. Because once you’ve discerned where you are, your response is natural, quick and appropriate.

Discernment produces action that is creative and potent. It may be that we innately possess all the talent, intelligence and ability we’ll ever need to achieve our goals and dreams. That’s not the problem. Instead, we simply need to see clearly how to put these qualities to use. That is where coaching comes in.

A coach does not tell you what to do, but rather supports you in clearing the fog from your path. Once this happens, you instantly self-correct. Until you discern where you are, however, your actions are aimless. It’s like driving in a fog, wondering why ‘trucks’ keep hitting you. Or how is it you keep ‘attracting trucks’ into your life.”

So now you have it: A coach is someone who helps you see that you have much to contribute in life…discover what holds meaning and purpose for you…identify your core strengths and values…create goals that come alive with meaning and excitement…and reach those goals with a sense of clarity, focus, ease and grace.